Anything but Alex

In 2022, Rhiannon and I were set to go on our honeymoon at the end of February. We were driving across the country to Las Vegas to see Katy Perry and then hoping over to Los Angeles and Disneyland. Around the time we were supposed to go, my grandmother passed away, so we changed the trip around to also include driving down to Georgia for her memorial service.

On our way down, I got into a fight with my dad and stepmom over a family friend who could not make up her mind on if she was staying with us or not. Rhiannon and I were staying in a camper on my grandparent's land. This family friend kept going back and forth on if she wanted to stay with us in the camper or not, causing my dad and stepmom some anxiety on getting things ready. There was a lot of tension surrounding it, and my dad and I ended up getting into a screaming match over the phone as I was driving through the mountains in Tennessee. After I hung up with my dad, I went into a full blown panic attack. By then end of the panic attack, I decided that no one would ever make me feel the way I did in that moment again. To remind myself of that, I decided that I didn't want to be called "Alex" anymore. From then on, I was "Alexandria".

I know that may seem dramatic, maybe even a little ridiculous. But for me, it was a shift in who I was and the first real boundary I set. To me, Alex was the little girl who shouldered everything. She backed down and would cower when she was yelled at. She allowed herself to be yelled at and talked to any kind of way in order to keep the peace. She was weak. But after living in Michigan for 6 years (at that time), I had learned that I was not that girl anymore. I was not the same person who left Georgia. I am strong. I am smart. I deserve to be treated with and talked to with respect.

I immediately told my friends and family, and they made the change instantly. Some asked if it was okay to give me a nickname because Alexandria is a mouthful. I thought about it, and I decided that they could call me anything they want, just don't call me Alex. This has lead to some of my favorite nicknames: Dria, A, Lexie, Zandria, and possibly my favorite...Aunt Andria.

There are still some people in my life who still call me Alex. Some because they don't know this story and some who just refuse to respect my wishes because "you've always been Alex. I am not changing that now." Those are the people who are now held at arms length. If you can't respect my choice of going by my actual name, then you don't get to know me anymore. If I've "always been Alex", then to them I will only ever be "Alex"...and let me tell you...I am ANYTHING BUT ALEX.